During my point of life when I was a dick, being an asshole came off naturally so I didn't feel that I was doing anything wrong. I was a teenager and living under the roof of my parents. They provided me food, shelter, finance and education. But as far as I recall, I was truly ungrateful to them. I thought they could have done more to make my life better i.e. buy my extra toys, give me more freedom to party with my friends, provide me more money to spend, and stop bothering me when hooking up with girls. Even though my parents were doing me a favor for me to live a better life, I was asking for more than my pay grade. I remember complaining and whining to my friends of how lame my parents was to buy me a cheap computer which can't even have enough video memory to play latest games. I also realized I was also a complete dick to our servants (that's what we call back home). I never showed them respects and treated them as a piece of trash. I actually remember couple of times I falsely accused some servants to steal stuff from my desk, which I know they weren't responsible. I did beat some of them up once in a while. Even though it was my fault, I thought it was much easier to place blame on the minorities. Another way I was a douchebag was how I mistreated kids less fortunate than me. I vividly recall beating up a retarded kid couple of times in our neighborhood which was a complete spur of the moment thing for me. It was a fun activity for me because I was bored and needed a living punching bag to boost my ego. Another example I provide is how I treated people from lower class. Back home, one way of transportation was rickshaw when I commute to high school. I remember I was very frugal when it comes for paying less to old, weak and hungry rickshaw pullers just because they were fucking too slow to drive. I guess it made me feel better to give them pain so that they could share my pain to home late for jerking off. As you can imagine from those few instances, I was a pretty close definition of an ultimate dick.
When I looked back those years, I still feel sick in my stomach for being an asshole. But I made up my mind on one thing. I am going to be respectful and humble to someone NOT for his social status, job position and salary, but for him being a human being. I don't believe nice people finish last. If you are trying to be nice to have someone have sex with you, then the person would easily pick up all the signs and signals that you are desperate. Well, you probably would finish last. But if you are genuinely care of someone, it comes off in a positive way. I guess there are 2 different kinds of "being nice" - being nice for expectations, or being genuinely nice. I think people who are "being nice for expectations" finish last because they are waiting for outside forces to make a difference to their lives. They are much more reactive. The latter kinds of nice people are more proactive. Their nice comes off more naturally, and, they are probably inward focused. I think I belong to both kind of "nice". I do have expectations once in a while, but I still genuinely care of my loved ones no matter what. I also believe there is still a subtle "asshole-ness" in me, but it is less noticeable.
What kind of "nice" are you? Why?