Parents

A lot of people I have met in my lifetime have issues with their parents. Some weren't provided enough education. One my best friend's dad actually came out from the closet after 20 years of marriage and got married with another dude. A coworker my mine's foster dad actually turned himself into an woman and still lives with her foster mom. I am sure there are dozens of extraordinary ways we had private issues with our parents. But listening to their stories, I feel like my story isn't such a big deal.

During my teenage years, I hated my dad because he was over controlling and yelled at me all time.  No, he never drink. Yes, he provided me enough education. But there were frustrated times in my childhood when I wished him dead. I hated living with fear all those times. After I left my homeland and got a job offer in a different country, my perspectives had been changed a lot in the last 7 years.

In my mid twenties, I would give anything to hear my mom and dad's voice from the phone. I really appreciate what they have done to me in the past and I am glad they get to be my parents. I am not sure how long they will be alive to hear from me, but it's nice I can see them once in a while during my busy schedule. Thirty or forty years from now, I have no clue what's going to happen to me or them. But I really cherish the moments I share with them, and I am very grateful.

Thanks mom and dad! I know you probably would never read this blog post, but I really mean every word I say! :)

-Chase

How Everything About You Is So Trivial?

I have always been fascinated by the universe ever since I was a kid. I remember making small space ships using my lego which father bought for me, and played with those my entire childhood. I had a sudden realization in the coffee shop today that everything we believe is important are actually unbelievably trivial!

I watched "Into the Universe by Stephen Hawking" multiple times and always feel awe by the vastness of the universe. It's truly amazing that our planet are probably no more than a small piece of dust compare of the rest of the universe. It's interesting because it makes me feel both important and trivial at the same time.

I feel important because I am part of the universe. No matter what kind of piece of shit I am, I am essential to the existence of the universe. Didn't get how? I think myself as a very trivial piece of  an oval glass. No matter how trivial I am, if I do not exists then the oval glass become imperfect. But the universe is always perfect. It is made up of energy and I am part of it.

I feel trivial because when I look inside me I have created so much problems in my life. I want certain amount of money, maintain good reputation in my work, pay my credit card bill, think of early retirement, want to travel, and have dozens of insecurities I want to cover up to prove I am a real man. When I think of the vast universe, all the big problems I have seem so much unbelievably little!

After I had this realization in the coffee shop today, I actually started to loosen up a little bit. I looked around people and building around me and felt how small everything around me could me. It's always nice to see things in different perspectives!