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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Deserve

I had a realization this morning that everything I got in life is because I believed I deserved it. For example, during days in college, I actually got straight As in courses when I thought I deserve it even if I didn't study much; however, there are courses I worked my ass off but had doubts that it might too good for me, then end up getting B+. It also comes to respect. When I believe I don't deserve some people's respect (probably my manager or coworkers), I end up losing their respect. I think they pick up the subtle cues that I don't believe in myself.

My point is that I should believe I deserve something even though I haven't done enough. Because I will always be not good enough. There will always be someone better or worse than me. I can't control that. However, I have control what I choose to believe. If I believe I do not deserve money, fame and honor, then there is no body else in the world that can help me. It's totally on me.

So, next time I have regrets of my past, I would rather stop blaming my circumstances, and start believing that I am responsible for what I deserve.