Regina

I met a interesting lady today while I was writing up my journals in the coffee shop nearby. We sat close to each other and we ended up having the most interesting conversation I ever had in this week. I suddenly realized she has all qualities I want for someone to be long-term lover, or just close friend. She is an intellectual type, enjoys challenge, have goals, gets my sarcastic joke, and stands for certain ideals which meet mine. She is also gorgeous and similar look like women I usually like to go out with. It was a long enjoyable conversation  even though she mentioned she has kids and I saw no ring.  We got each others names, so that we could at least say hi next time we meet. When I asked hers, she replied, "Regina". I said like "Regina Spektor"?. She smiled, and advised me to learn how to bike because I don't. But she was so into this conversation that she forgot to take her purse, remote starter, a text book from college when she left. I ended up putting her stuff in the lost & found section of coffee shop. I felt kind of guilty of distracting her to forget her stuffs. I am afraid she is going to freak out when she will arrive home and regret talking with me!

I realized something interesting from this conversation. I met at least 10 new women this week through various situations (i.e. office, groceries, bar, coffee). All of them were pretty, and have decent conversational skills. I only found this one woman most intriguing of all. I also realized I would rather have one quality interaction that grows into me than 10 interactions that don't mean much. However, it's still a numbers game. In order to get one quality woman in life, I would need to go through 10 crappy interactions. I am wondering how many interactions will it take to meet the next girl I find a good match. All in all, these are interesting findings! :)

The way you do one thing is that way you do everything

I read this motivational saying from an article few days ago, and it let me change some of my behaviors. As a guy in my mid-twenties, I still feel like I must continue improvement in some areas of my life - career, wealth, women, health, family etc.

Sometimes the way I treat myself in one area of my life tend to affect other areas of my life too. For example, if I don't treat people who I don't know genuinely, the chances are I am treating my family in the same manner. If I am clumsy and wasteful with my own body and eat whatever shit what tastes like fry, chances are I will feed my kids as much worse  (I don't have any though). If I don't learn how to relax while being impatient, or learn how to be comfortable on my own time, then I probably am nervous around people, and difficult situations.

I believe "The way you do one thing is that way you do everything" makes sense in some level. It's not highly accurate because the way I like talking with my close friends and like making fun of them, I probably never want to do the same thing for my coworkers in the office. But this is still something to keep in mind in my day to day life. No matter how small the task is, if I don't do it right, then I pretty don't do anything right for bigger projects. For example, if a Walmart cashier is crappy, unmotivated, and sucks at doing her job, what are the chances she will perform well if she was promoted to be the CEO (hypothetically)? You get the point.

Few Milliseconds Before Waking Up

I have an spiritual friend who used to tell me that when we are sleeping, we don't have any identity or some shit. We become merged with the one. I didn't understand that completely yet, but I kind of get what he was saying. If you point a gun a someone asleep, he is not going to beg for his life. He isn't there.

However, I have an interesting realization this morning. Just few milliseconds before I was waking up, I was a little conscious and couldn't identify myself. I couldn't care or didn't know who I was. Interestingly I found it as a big relief. I don't know why. I am not serial killer, or didn't done something terribly wrong in my life which I wish it would go away. I am also cool with who I am and what direction my life is moving.  I realized that the body is all I have for that moment, and I couldn't care of my identity, needs, wants. So I still wonder why I felt relieved? Then after few short seconds my brain rebooted, I came back to who I am right now. I am pretty sure I am not inheriting any memory loss disease, and this is not a hang over (I didn't go out last night). But something I ponder about...

And, yes, I will do a quick checkup with my doctor just to be sure. Doctor will probably think I am an idiot. :)

I am Awesome!

I just realized how I awesome I was today both at work & socially. I had some excellent breakthrough at meetings, problem solving, and important lessons I learned about myself that is going to benefit to push beyond who I am. I have learned to be more relaxed, centered, and focused. I was in a very flow state today. I have learned who I am beyond the surface level. I knew what I was doing, and was matured about dealing with difficulties. I earned respect & recognition. I understood that I must give 100% focus on task at hand no matter how small it is. I also understood what it means to take 100% responsibility on anything.

I am awesome! :)
Yea, I am bragging because this is my personal blog. Don't ruin this moment!

Choosing right actions over emotions

I had an excellent work out early morning before driving to office, enjoyed healthy oat meal, had positive thoughts as soon as I woke up, and do other normal routines that help me to go above and beyond than most people. I am destined for starting a wonderful day!

But around noon in my office, I started to feel not right. This is not a caffeine crush because I don't drink coffee, and I had good salad for lunch. I just don't feel right because I just completed a big project last week, and now I have some free time to slack off. It didn't feel right, and I felt miserable inside to be doing less. I am a workaholic. I hate not feeling "right"!

Then I asked myself few interesting questions, "Have I done all the right things I am supposed to today?", "Have I acted in the right way to move towards my long term goal?".  The answer was close to "Yes". Then I realized my everyday chores are boring, but they are still the right things to do. Even though there will be days my journey towards my bigger goals will suck, and I would feel crappy for no fucking reason, I should still remind myself that it's the right actions that are more important than my emotions.

I know there are spiritual teachers that tell that emotions & feelings don't lie. That's right. I agree with that. But for getting the things done appropriately, I believe "right actions" take precedence over "right emotions". Just because I am feeling sad and lazy doesn't mean that I am allowed to miss my work out today. Just because I incredibly in a good mood doesn't mean I am allowed to enjoy the moments by eating junk food. Just because people are watching doesn't mean I can't approach that cute girl in the corner.  Emotions don't usually lie; but I think it misguide us to do the wrong thing if we aren't careful enough. It's better to remain objective to my emotions. For now on - right actions over emotions!

Am I Enough?

I woke up 10 AM at Sunday morning, and there is that one familiar feeling I get for many year no matter how good or bad the previous day went by. It's feeling of emptiness. It's almost as if I feel like I am not doing enough. I could work harder  and smarter than I am to be happier, healthier, and wiser.

I have been reading for this interesting book recently which talks about slightest change over a longer period of time makes bigger impact and momentum in life. There are no such thing as magic pill. So today I asked a different question. Am I doing little bit enough everyday to reach my ambitions so that five years from now my goals are going to be actualized? The answer was Yes!

I have been following through  those small habit everyday for a long time to reach my goals - workout, business ventures etc. It's a common sense they will all add up to be a person I will become may be a year from now. The book also talks about common expectations people have - they want quick fix for a problem i.e. having six pack abs within 30 days, making a million dollar by winning lottery, meeting soul mates by getting drunk every Friday and Saturday night (I know someone who does), or wishing god has better plans!

They key thing to remember from this post is that tiny, inconsequential daily discipline for a longer period of time makes the person you are. If you are pretty regular in the gym five days a week, and have clean diets, you would eventually have an awesome body. The feeling of emptiness will always be there for you. I kind of believe that's part of being a human. I think I interpreted that "feeling of emptiness" as I am not doing enough. That's my old, faulty belief trying to trick to get a quick fix for solutions! Some people might interpret that totally different. Let me know what's yours!

Chasing After Happiness

Tuesday noon at work, I got a text from my date last weekend and it kind of made me so ecstatic that I could not stop smiling for couple hours, and felt so good.  I treated everyone little bit more better and become more social. I suddenly realized at one point during those moments that it's just not hearing from some blonde that made me happy because I get texts from some girls through out the week. It's just me deciding to be happy. Somehow my brain interpreted that miniscule text to be so desirable that it made me choose to be happy. This is so stupid!

I know I want to enjoy companionship with women because it makes me happy, but do women really make me happy? It's not like I am saying I am thinking whether I am considering being a homosexual, or an asexual hermit who refrain from sex. I am saying whether I could be less rely on women to attain my happiness. I can't control how other people treat me every day; it's not consistent. I have days some girls give me a hard time, and there are days they made me feel like a rockstar.

But how I treat myself every single day could be consistent. I choose to smile, I chose to have confident posture, and I choose to treat people little bit more better. By doing all these, I could be happy and ecstatic all by myself. May be happiness is just a choice?