I was driving back to my apartment after buying my lunch on Sunday afternoon. I had a make a U-Turn at some point with my car to go to a different directions, and the guy in the car behind me started tapping his horns, and yelled, "You Asshole!". I looked back, and was 90% sure it might be me he was trying to yell at, but I continued driving. I wasn't sure why making a U-turn in the intersection when green light was clearly there make someone mad, so was confused what I did wrong.
While I was on my way, I realized this was the first time a stranger ever called me an asshole. The guy was clearly very impolite, and chances are he does that to his friends and family. However, I live such a boring and straightforward hard that it's hard to make someone mad at me. I also know this is going to destroy the relaxed and peaceful state of mind I was having on Sunday!
So, I decide to apply the "Right Actions Over Emotions" rules. What are the right actions I can take to make myself feel better? The first thing that came in my mind is to be relaxed. So I took few deep slow breaths to keep my body chemistry under control, and not go to a fight-or-flight response. It helped a little bit, but my ego still hurts. Then, what could be next best thing I could do to let it go? I realized whenever I get mad, I tend to think about the problem too many times, and asked questions like, "How he is..?", "How can I kick his ass?", "May be that guy is an idiot?" etc. That never helped. So I decided not to overanalyze this time.
I still felt little bit bad, and it was still ruining my Sunday afternoon. So, I thought about the technique I learned from Tony Robbins to get rid of additions/fear, and wanted to apply it. The technique is to visualize the images that cause bad emotions, and come up with ridiculous images to scratch the image enough times so that my brain couldn't recreate the bad emotions. It's kind scratching a record played for gramophone. I thought of something incredibly disgusting while repeating that scenario couple dozen times. After doing that, I found out I don't miraculously feel bad anymore. Somehow my visualization scratched out that bad experiences & emotions.
I did it within 20-30 minutes, and was able to enjoy my sandwich at my apartment in peace of mind. But now, I become more aware that whenever I feel bad, then it's just my ego and body chemistry messing with me. I clearly did something wrong to get someone cussing at me, but probably will never know why. But I understood that I should never involve a hurt ego or make things very personal when figuring something out. My mentor once told me that if I can't get myself let go of bad emotions caused by confronting someone, then I am more of a pussy. He also told me that it involves a lot of practice to be a master of managing my emotions, and it can't be done overnight. Now, I think about it, I do need more practice - I need more people to call me an "Asshole"! :)
While I was on my way, I realized this was the first time a stranger ever called me an asshole. The guy was clearly very impolite, and chances are he does that to his friends and family. However, I live such a boring and straightforward hard that it's hard to make someone mad at me. I also know this is going to destroy the relaxed and peaceful state of mind I was having on Sunday!
So, I decide to apply the "Right Actions Over Emotions" rules. What are the right actions I can take to make myself feel better? The first thing that came in my mind is to be relaxed. So I took few deep slow breaths to keep my body chemistry under control, and not go to a fight-or-flight response. It helped a little bit, but my ego still hurts. Then, what could be next best thing I could do to let it go? I realized whenever I get mad, I tend to think about the problem too many times, and asked questions like, "How he is..?", "How can I kick his ass?", "May be that guy is an idiot?" etc. That never helped. So I decided not to overanalyze this time.
I still felt little bit bad, and it was still ruining my Sunday afternoon. So, I thought about the technique I learned from Tony Robbins to get rid of additions/fear, and wanted to apply it. The technique is to visualize the images that cause bad emotions, and come up with ridiculous images to scratch the image enough times so that my brain couldn't recreate the bad emotions. It's kind scratching a record played for gramophone. I thought of something incredibly disgusting while repeating that scenario couple dozen times. After doing that, I found out I don't miraculously feel bad anymore. Somehow my visualization scratched out that bad experiences & emotions.
I did it within 20-30 minutes, and was able to enjoy my sandwich at my apartment in peace of mind. But now, I become more aware that whenever I feel bad, then it's just my ego and body chemistry messing with me. I clearly did something wrong to get someone cussing at me, but probably will never know why. But I understood that I should never involve a hurt ego or make things very personal when figuring something out. My mentor once told me that if I can't get myself let go of bad emotions caused by confronting someone, then I am more of a pussy. He also told me that it involves a lot of practice to be a master of managing my emotions, and it can't be done overnight. Now, I think about it, I do need more practice - I need more people to call me an "Asshole"! :)
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