It Feels Good.

I was hopelessly practicing some complicated interview questions for an job opportunity in Seattle after 3 weeks, and I am also trying to download a stupid application from my college website. I really suck in multitasking, and I felt extremely frustrated for my lack of progress in the last couple of weeks. I have plenty of phone interviews, and I feel nervous of my future. I know I am the best candidate for a job, but somehow I feel so inadequate. I really hate to feel so inferior. I was in a "lame" state of mind. But all those feelings changed when I got distracted by 2 consecutive phone calls. My mom and dad called me to say, "Happy Birthday!". I don't usually care of "being a year older" but it kind of feels good that some people actually care to remember my birthday. After a couple of minutes, my big sister and brother-in-law called me to wish me the same thing. Why do I feel so much love today?

But it feels good! :)

Making Stupid Assumptions!

Sometimes I imagine my life could have been so much better if I didn't assume how people react or think of me in the past few years. I sometimes I made complete a fool out of myself in relationships, career, and health just because I do not challenge my thoughts. Here are 7 food of thoughts that I want to share with you:

1. Remember the time you were offered some cheese cakes by your mom, and you were little concerned about your health so you politely said, "No". But your mom somehow convinced you that a little "bite" does not hurt your health. In the end those small couple hundred "bites" actually made you gain overwhelming amount of weight in such a short period of time?
2. How about the time you were completely lost in the road/highway, and were desperate to find your way home? You just don't want to ask the Mr. Police officer for a ride, because you "felt" that you might look stupid.
3. Can you recall the time you just want to compliment someone's stunning hair, but "thought" that you might look sheepish? You just walk away, and miss your chance to make a new friend.
4. How about your frustrating days at school? You just couldn't ask a simple question because you were afraid to look "stupid" in front of your classmates, or experience the wrath of the imaginary angry teacher!
5. Can you remember a time this week when were afraid to say "No" to your coworker to cover for him because you don't want to be disappointing/unreliable?
6. How about never bothering to say "hello" to your neighbor because you "thought" that you might intrude his or her day? When was the last time you were annoyed when someone "greeted" you?
7. When was the last time you actually wrote something nice to your high school friend's facebook wall? Because you thought you might appear too cheesy.

Now time to ask few questions! How do you know "exactly" what the other person is actually thinking? Did he tell you? Is it his behavior or facial expression? If his body language is telling you, how do you know that "every" man or woman in the world have the same "thoughts" in that body gesture? How do you also know you will get a "cold" look if you compliment someone? When was the last time your professor ever turned into an incredible "hulk" while you asked a super simple questions? Can you provide me reliable statistics to prove your assumptions? If yes, how many percent of human population could actually support your theory? I understand that people do have different rules and expectations, and you are bound to meet few weirdos latter part of your life. Should we assume what our friends, neighbors and strangers will react in the way few people treated you in the past? My point is let us stop playing the "guessing" game, and challenge what we are actually thinking. In my experience, simply being aware of your thought actually eliminate lots of assumptions that is paralyzing what you want to do.

Now is your turn! What is one assumption you usually make that is limiting your life? Comment, Below!

How do you react when a friend behaves as if s/he never knew you?

Today I was in a social event and I was hanging out with my staff members of a part-time job. I was excited to meet everyone, give them a charming smile, crack some jokes, enjoy fun conversations and make new friends! But haven't you ever approached some acquaintances who act like they never know you or never even say "hello"?

It did happen to me today with one of my coworkers! Every time we were in close proximity and I am giving eye contact, my coworker didn't respond back. It made me ponder when I never received even a "hello"! Sometimes it makes me confused. With a confused state of mind, I ended up asking these questions. Does the person just do not like me? Is she too shy to say "Hi" to me first? Is she waiting for me to greet her first? Why she overlooked me when walked passed me? Is she just mad because I didn't approach first? Am I not good enough?

After I calmed down a little bit, I realized that I was over analyzing a trivial situation. People are just different. They might have a bad day. They might be too shy. They might just not like me anymore. They might feel insecure. They could also be mad at me. They might might not like my new hair style. They might think they are not good enough. There could be dozens of unknown possibilities, and there is no way to know unless you "ask" or just "read" minds. I do believe I can never please every humans in the planet, just like every humans cannot please me. For example, I feel displeased if someone has severely bad breath, shaky handshake and invade my personal space! In the same and extreme way, a serial killer can never please me to be his/her friend.

Couple of lessons I have learnt from this "troubled" situation:

1. I would rather be forward than wait for someone to meet me.
2. I would always ask, rather than assume something "horrible". Most of the time our imagination exaggerate the situation.
3. People have different rules and values. Next time I feel confused, I would rather try to understand him first, before being understood.

So, how do you react when a friend acts like s/he never knows you? Comment, Below! Don't worry I know your intentions are always good! :P

What an ungrateful bastard?!?

I used to see myself as a peace-loving, god-fearing, law-abiding guy during my early teenage days. I thought if I continue to be nice and comply with everyone's wish, I would live an "easy" life in earth and heaven. I know it's fucking cheesy, but it was me 3 years ago. I was also very faithful to my parents, siblings and relatives. I was being respectful and everything; but you and I both know that life is never so "cheesy" :)

Now the "however" part. Ever since my early 20s and living on my own in United States, I have started demanding more for myself and others. I dislike settling for less! For example, a couple of days ago, I was given an iPod nano as a present from my elder brother. That iPod does not cost much, but the data stored inside it cost over $4000. There are some confidential/copyrighted stuffs which I am asked not to share with others. I should be feeling really lucky because I don't get much pricey stuffs so often.

Instead, I focused on the negative aspects. I started to feel "unloved" coz I was not given the latest "iPod" touch. I also started to feel little worried if my "rich" friends find out that I am using less expensive and not-so-shiny toys than theirs. What if the gym rats find that amusing to see me with a 2nd generation iPod nano when I am workout in the weighting room?!? I know he could afford to buy me the expensive one; why didn't he? Am I that inferior? Later, I have started to realize it was really ungrateful of me to think such way. Like any ignorant human being, I thought green is greener on the other side.

Many times in my life, I have been well-treated/mistreated by people around me. But I do believe during that very moment, I have a "choice" to see it in positive or negative light. For a moment I forgot how lucky I am to have an elder brother who mentors me to be a better person; and, asked me to use that iPod for training purpose e.g. personal development. I only thought of glass half empty instead of half full. I am an ungrateful bastard. I must learnt how to be more grateful of my life, and the gifts my life has given me. And I am glad i am letting you know that I have learnt my lesson.

What are the 3 things are you grateful of in your life? Write in the comment section, Below!

Can motions create good emotions?

Every time I am complimented by my team members, random strangers, coworkers, couple of things I almost always hear from others. I never really received those compliments until I make "smile" a frequent part of my life!

"You seem so pleasant all the time"
"You talk with people, and seem genuinely interested"
"You are so smiley!"
"You make me laugh for no reason"

Smile is a facial expression which could be easily done by a normal human being with a deformed/normal facial tissues. It is easier than writing 1500 words essay, cramming for an extremely difficult/stupid/lame calculus exam, or lifting 150 lbs for chest press. My point it smile is easy! I don't know why some dudes "just" don't smile or do it once a week. Frowning does not make you tougher or more charismatic....

I remember Anthony Robbins (#1 peak performance expert) wrote in his book, "Awaken The Giant Within" that motions create emotions. He stated that positive, outrageous or confident body movements could make dramatic changes in our emotional state. People could change their lives if they keep positive body language consistently. Here are couple of questions I want you to ponder: Can you explain why you feel great when your significant other kisses you? Why "kiss" is more emotionally stimulating than just a "pat" in your back? Why firm "handshake" demonstrates "confidence"? Because different motions create different emotions. When I smile, my brain tends to believe "I am happy" and secrete chemicals which cause stimulating emotions. If you frown, swing your hands slowly like a bored symphony instructor for a while, I can guarantee you that you start feel bored.

KEEP THIS IN MIND:
Our emotions are nothing more than biochemical storms in our brains. So why would you want some chemicals to ruin the rest of your day?

Just dance, grin silly in front of the mirror, sing loudly, breath rapidly and shake your legs playfully (It works for me every time I get bored with work), skydiving, run 5K, play with your fingers or reinvent something which works for you. If you can create really amazing motions, I can guarantee some phenomenal change in your emotions for sure. Smile is a facial expression, and I tend to use it very well!

What kind of motion/physical activity works for you? Make sure to comment below because your motion puts a smile in my face. :)