Epiphany

I had few realization today about myself that's holding me back to me to be truly happy and successful. I am a goal seeker. I am stubborn enough to keep working on goals blindly no matter how stupid it is. Even if it takes months and I won't get much in return I keep on riding. Even if people around me give me feedback I am not on the right track, I think they are incredibly stupid and I am the smart one. Most of the time I am right. I graduated being the top 10% in college and a top performer at work. I always think I am special and everyone is boring.

But today after having an interesting conversation, I realized I don't know what I want. I don't know what will make me happy. I just keep on chasing after valueless goals that may not have any great return on investment. I don't listen to anyone's feedback and never change my course because I think I am right. My greatest strength of being a hard ass persistent backfires me. I never take few minutes to review whether the goal I am seeking is really worth it? Will it give me highest rate of return? Can there even be better way?

I realized that the reason I never change my course is because I am afraid of change. I am a pussy when it comes of making changes and crossing stronger comfort zone. So, from now on, I will consistently make subtle changes. I consistently cross my comfort zone. I consistently be unpredictable.

But I still believe people are boring...and I am awesome no matter what. That probably will not change any time soon. Sorry!