There has been one small event that has been killing me inside little by little in the last 3 weeks. I am not feeling disappointed or sad, but it's just something that has been bothering me in the background.
A few 3 weeks ago a person close to my family asked for some money because he is kind of in a big trouble. In our family, we don't usually borrow money from each other; I just give it as if I won't get it return. I usually lend a lot of money to my friends when they are in trouble, but we usually have a explicit contract to return it back by a certain date, or I will never lend them any money in the future! But doing something similar to a family seem awkward or sure fire way to break family ties.
He helped me a lot during my younger days which I can't really repay and he is blood relative. So it was incredibly hard for me to make up my mind because I am saving up for an important vacation coming up soon. So I said plainly I won't contribute any money at all in the next couple months, and that's a lot of money he is asking. It felt bad and I knew I disappointed the person. I am sure he whined and complained behind my back. But I realized that my needs will always comes before anything else in the world.
This small decision not to give away money to a family person has been bothering me a little bit last few weeks. I am cool and collected guy. I am known to handle stress and uncertainty with calmness, but somehow it has been killing me inside even though it's not my fault (I can't afford it). I can do whatever I want with my hard earned money I get from my job. But today, I decided I just going to send minimum possible amount (which will not hurt my bank balance), but still adequate to make the relative happy. At least I won't feel guilty anymore. So, I went to Western Union website, send out good amount of money, and notify my friend that the money is transferred and that's all I could afford.
After doing that, I am feeling all better now. Not because I helped a friend. I don't give a fuck about making people happy. But it seemed more congruent to my important values - loyalty & integrity. It also gave me a peace in mind!
I realized that I love money and I am going to make more and more in the future years to come. Money is just a material need, and it won't be with me when I am dead. If I could be used some of it to maintain a relationship and provide sone peace of my mind, why not use it even if it never comes back? :)
A few 3 weeks ago a person close to my family asked for some money because he is kind of in a big trouble. In our family, we don't usually borrow money from each other; I just give it as if I won't get it return. I usually lend a lot of money to my friends when they are in trouble, but we usually have a explicit contract to return it back by a certain date, or I will never lend them any money in the future! But doing something similar to a family seem awkward or sure fire way to break family ties.
He helped me a lot during my younger days which I can't really repay and he is blood relative. So it was incredibly hard for me to make up my mind because I am saving up for an important vacation coming up soon. So I said plainly I won't contribute any money at all in the next couple months, and that's a lot of money he is asking. It felt bad and I knew I disappointed the person. I am sure he whined and complained behind my back. But I realized that my needs will always comes before anything else in the world.
This small decision not to give away money to a family person has been bothering me a little bit last few weeks. I am cool and collected guy. I am known to handle stress and uncertainty with calmness, but somehow it has been killing me inside even though it's not my fault (I can't afford it). I can do whatever I want with my hard earned money I get from my job. But today, I decided I just going to send minimum possible amount (which will not hurt my bank balance), but still adequate to make the relative happy. At least I won't feel guilty anymore. So, I went to Western Union website, send out good amount of money, and notify my friend that the money is transferred and that's all I could afford.
After doing that, I am feeling all better now. Not because I helped a friend. I don't give a fuck about making people happy. But it seemed more congruent to my important values - loyalty & integrity. It also gave me a peace in mind!
I realized that I love money and I am going to make more and more in the future years to come. Money is just a material need, and it won't be with me when I am dead. If I could be used some of it to maintain a relationship and provide sone peace of my mind, why not use it even if it never comes back? :)
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